The Great Redneck Scavenger Hunt. Part 2: On the Road Again

Jeff Foxworthy…. That is where this idea began. For over 30 years he has been listing the indicators that will gauge whether you are indeed a redneck. When I first heard some of these, long before I moved to a small town, I thought they were funny but not as common as he made them out to be. Boy, was I wrong, many of his statements are now found in my own home! As I looked around I found more and more!! Then it occurred to me, how much fun would it be to turn this into a game! A scavenger hunt!

Mr. Foxworthy’s definition of redneck is “A glorious absence of sophistication” Oh yes, it is glorious! Truly. I love the comfort and ease that comes with living in a redneck town. You don’t have to put on airs for anything you don’t want to. As my Mountain Man would say, “It’s just how we do.”

He also states that you can’t make fun of redneck unless you are one. I know Mountain Man “are” one. I’m trying really hard to be one too! It’s tough! Often rational thought beats it out of me so often. That is why I consider myself still an aspiring small town girl. As the years roll by, little things do change. I’ve traded my jackets for hoodies and sneakers for cowboy boots. I listen to country music… and enjoy it enthusiastically which I never thought would happen. I’ve heard myself say words like “reckon” “yonder” and “darn right.” Sometimes it even startles me when I hear myself. So I’m getting there.

As I looked around my town, I find many redneck indicators that Jeff had not mentioned before. I felt it was only acceptable to create my own as well as use his when they crossed my path. I hope you enjoy my new favorite game. Here we go:

Jeff’s

Redencks love to show off their money…. that’s why everything is proudly displayed in our front yard.

And this is ours. As you can see Mountain Man got a new truck recently. It’s great, all the bells and whistles plus it tows a lot better than the old one which is ready to be put out to pasture. For only two people living in a small house, he we sure do have a lot of vehicles. I remember my mother reprimanding me early on in moving to a small town about this. She said: “You need to move or get rid of some of those trucks out front before the neighbors start complaining!” After doing a quick assessment of the neighbors parking areas and their own front yard collections, I replied “Well gee Mom, we’re just tying to fit in!!”

If fewer than half your cars run… you might be a redneck.

Oh did you think those were our only trucks? That’s sweet. No no, there are two Toyotas in the back. Now here is where MM and I differ in opinions: He would state that these two run, which is true, I suppose. You can turn a key and something will happen. But they obviously aren’t going anywhere now are they?  So let’s do a quick tally: 2 in front that work, 2 in back that don’t…. so I guess we’re breaking even right?

Wrong! Here’s the other one in the garage that doubles as a storage/ dumping ground. So in essence, we do fit into this category for the moment, but just barely. #whatcarbonfootprint? Upon showing you this window of our life, I can only hope you won’t judge us too harshly. I know it’s not a very conventional lifestyle and this is where rational thought beats out the redneck in me. But I love my man and he wouldn’t be him if it weren’t for his hobbies and love for all things with motors. Let’s be real, we all have those things that drive each other crazy, and I’m far from perfect as I’m sure he’d tell you if he were a blogger, lol. So I shrug my shoulders and try to adjust to living in a world of motor oil and grease.

Mine

If you’ve ever been in a traffic jam involving cattle… you might be a redneck

Yes this happens to me….often. It’s the only traffic jam I don’t mind. Most times I can’t help but laugh. When you live in a small town, chances are there will be cattle farmers, and chances are they will have to herd the cattle from one side of the road to the other. Mooooooooove!

If you consider driving a quad a valid and legal mode of transportation… you might be a redneck.

MM has told me tales of small towns where driving quads on the road is legal…. this just recently passed in our small town and is not an uncommon sight. When I saw this coming down the highway I had to be that little busy body spy who rolled down her window and sneakily snapped this pic as he drove by…. on the highway… going 40 mph. What I didn’t notice until I got home and looked at the picture was the child scrunched up in the back! OMG! I was shocked and in my shock showed MM expecting a reaction. What I got was a shrug of the shoulders and this response “Well they’re wearing helmets aren’t they?” …. Ugh! Rednecks!

Thanks for joining me for another edition of The Great Redneck Scavenger Hunt! I hope you’ve enjoyed. If you have any redneck-ism about being on the road feel free to share in the comments!!